Women and Money: How Learning Builds Confidence

Before the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974, banks could refuse to consider a married woman's income when she applied for a mortgage, and women weren't guaranteed the right to get credit cards and apply for loans without a male co-signer.

While these discriminatory laws are in the past, women are still playing catch-up with men in some financial matters today. For example, about 50% of women ages 55 to 66 have no personal retirement savings, compared to 47% of men, according to a 2022 U.S. Census Bureau survey.

And according to a late 2024 Bank of America financial health survey (PDF), women trail men in feeling "financially well" — 46% of women feel financially well compared with 52% of men. Financial wellness considers expense, credit card debt and long-term debt management, planning for the unexpected, retirement planning and preservation of assets.

Some research points out that in past generations, men made many or most household financial decisions, which resulted in a gap in financial literacy between men and women regarding topics like budgeting, debt and investing. These everyday decisions required more and better personal finance knowledge — rarely taught in school. 

This personal finance gap is decreasing with more decision-making role sharing and advanced college education. Recent surveys from Fidelity (PDF) and Bank of America (PDF) reveal women feel more confident managing short-term finances and are proud of their ability to make smart purchases and be financially independent.

Indeed, conversations with three BECU women employees revealed it's sometimes important to unlearn some lessons of the past, learn more about personal finance and take action for a more positive future. The result is an increased sense of money confidence.

But getting there is a journey that's different for everyone. And women still face serious confidence gaps when it comes to investing and saving for retirement.

Confidence Gaps and Future Goals

The most recent Fidelity report (PDF) on women and money shows that both moms and dads discuss budgeting and responsible spending with their kids. However, dads are more likely to discuss investing, possibly due to a longstanding women's confidence gap around investing and retirement.

For example, young women tend to save more money than men — but don't put as much money into investment vehicles versus savings accounts. Women don't feel they have as much influence as men on investment decisions. A combined 83% of Fidelity survey participants say fear or lack of knowledge or confidence discourages them from investing.

Specifically, women demonstrate deep-seated financial fears and lack of confidence around insufficient savings. Many women regret not saving and investing earlier for use across the longer lifespans women tend to have, according to the Bank of America study. The study also noted that women are less likely to identify how much money they'll need in retirement.

And there are broader challenges at play, too. In the Bank of America study, around 38% of women said they didn't have enough savings to invest. Another 31% of women said not being paid enough was a barrier to financial wellness.

Almost half of all women worry about losing all their money and becoming homeless, specifically by running out of money in retirement. Even a third of higher-income women feel concerned about this.

BECU lead financial educator Stacey B., 53, plans to learn more to build confidence in investing, small business finances and planning for the future — particularly after taking charge of her mom's healthcare and retirement funds.

"I have little experience in these areas, so I have relied on professionals to help guide me," Stacey said, including reading articles, listening to podcasts and researching.

"I've learned a lot about long-term care insurance and Medicare, which people don't typically look into until something happens to them," Stacey said. "I've learned how important it is to start researching and planning, even if it seems a long way off, and it's best to be prepared now."

Ashlei is also less confident about investing.

"I know my strengths, and investing decisions are not one of them, and that is where I will look to the expertise of others," Ashlei said. "I worry if I'm making the right decisions, and I also understand that all investment decisions are risky.

"I remind myself that I'm not required to know all the answers. I can ask for help," Ashlei said. "I can seek advice. I can continue to learn how to bring myself financial security. Most importantly, I am capable of financial independence."

Family Influences

In surveys, women broadly say they needed to unlearn stereotypes that men were better at managing finances. The women we spoke with learned a variety of unconscious lessons about gender and money — with some surprising advocates on their side.

Paula grew up in a household where adults didn't discuss money with children.

"My father was clearly in charge of the finances until he passed away early. After that, my mother had to learn to manage money quickly, so she enrolled in numerous financial courses," Paula said.

"I still remember how overwhelming it was for her — she didn't even know how to balance a checkbook," Paula said. "This experience shaped my approach to money. I decided early that I would take full responsibility for my finances."

Ashlei felt less financially aware as she grew up due to her household's gender roles.

"Growing up, all the women in my family tried to ingrain into me that a man's job is to take care of a woman financially, and the woman was meant to take care of the family," Ashlei said. "All financial decisions would need to be run by and approved by the 'man of the house.'"

"Our household was run as the man being the breadwinner," Ashlei said. When her parents divorced, her mom had little work experience and money.

In high school, Ashlei decided she didn't want to rely on someone else financially and wanted to get a part-time job.

"I was nervous to discuss this with my dad, as he had been raised with these gender roles and had adopted them when he started a family," Ashlei said, "but, he was so supportive. My favorite thing he said to me was, 'I have already gone against my gender's stereotype by becoming a single dad, and I would be happy to support you in breaking yours as well.'"

Stacey's parents also divorced when she was young.

"Neither talked about finances, so I learned the hard way by making many money mistakes," she said.

Stacey also went through a divorce in her late 30s and wasn't sure how she would make it financially.

"I've always been the one to manage the finances, but I never felt confident in making big financial decisions until a few years after my divorce," she said.

Financial Challenges

Women's financial challenges include not saving enough for emergencies, not prioritizing finances early enough, waiting too long to start retirement savings and accumulating too much "bad" debt.

For Stacey, being financially independent means being debt-free, supporting herself and her family on her income if anything happened to her partner and having a comfortable savings cushion.

"Since I didn't learn these skills at home or in high school, I had to learn them through the school of hard knocks," Stacey said. "When I turned 18, I started racking up credit card debt and got in over my head."

For Ashlei, financial independence also starts with being debt free. Ashlei graduated in 2020 from Central Washington University with a bachelor's degree in business administration and got a job as a bank teller.

One day in 2022, Ashlei scrolled through her BECU mobile app and noted the "net worth" feature. This feature showed her a negative financial net worth due to loans and credit card balances — her amounts owed were higher than the funds in her accounts. She had accumulated more than $50,000 in debt, not including student loans.

"I had used credit cards like it was my own money," she said. She attempted debt consolidation but didn't change her spending behavior, so more debt piled up. She contemplated selling her car because she felt unable to make the payments.

"I was more concerned with 'the finer things in life' than my negative net worth. I had fallen into a cycle many other women had fallen into and felt burdened when I realized I'd have to claw my way out of this mountain of debt I had buried myself under," she said.

"I was also very stubborn, never wanting to ask for help," she said, "but I decided I needed advice."

Ashlei started by asking her dad for insights on budgeting around paychecks to ensure funds were available for monthly bills by their due dates. She said it helped that he's an accountant and a tax preparer.

"He's my biggest supporter," she said. "I didn't have a strong female influence in the financial sector, so my dad tries tirelessly to build my confidence in these areas and help break the stereotype that women must be financially cared for."

Support Network

Women turn to immediate family or friends, financial websites, various financial advisors, tech-based solutions such as apps, and bank representatives for financial decisions and information. Women under age 54 are far more likely to use financial websites and technology-based solutions compared with women over age 54, according to the Bank of America survey. ;

After gathering advice from her dad, Ashlei sought additional educational avenues — including YouTube videos, TikTok, and BECU's Financial Health Check. Over time, she finally started feeling more confident in daily tasks after learning to start and follow a budget.

Before her BECU Financial Health Check meeting, Ashlei was worried the consultants would tell her she had to slash all her spending on fun: "I knew my spending habits were above my means and feared going into the appointment," she said.

She was surprised how the consultant helped her budget paychecks, allowing her to enjoy her income while managing her bills.

Paula also uses the Financial Health Check offered to BECU members. She participates annually in a financial health checkup to do a "check and balance" and obtain valuable feedback. The consultants give her useful tips on using Money Manager for personal finance management.

After joining BECU in 2021, Paula consciously expanded her financial knowledge.

"I've discovered that somebody is always willing to share their methods and techniques," she said — and resources are available for almost any subject someone wants to learn more about.

"The old analogy of not reinventing the wheel comes to mind here," Paula said.

Paula loves books on money management and finance. David Bach's "Smart Women Finish Rich" is one favorite. She's also completed financially focused LinkedIn Learning courses and attends free webinars from Fidelity Investments — which handles BECU employee retirement accounts — called "Women Talk Money."

Over the years, Stacey has taken financial courses and acquired several certifications to support her personal knowledge and her career as a financial educator. Every day, she listens to financial podcasts, reads financial news and subscribes to newsletters.

"My favorite is Clark Howard," Stacey said. "He has a podcast, website and newsletter that I subscribe to. He's very relaxed and relatable, and I learn something new every day."

Paula also listens to finance-related podcasts during outdoor lunchtime walks. Her top podcasts include "Mr. Money Mustache" with Peter Adeney, "Get Good With Money" with Tiffany Aliche, and "Women & Money" hosted by Suze Orman.

Ashlei watches YouTube channels, including "Financial Audit," where the host discusses a financial decision's negative or positive influence on a person's life. The show focuses on getting people out of dire economic situations by reducing unnecessary spending or properly budgeting for necessities.

"It taught me that many people lack financial literacy, but everyone can learn without getting discouraged," Ashlei said.

Ashlei also watches TikToks on personal finance, including budgeting and paycheck breakdowns on financial planning. She suggests searching "budgeting" on the app to see it for yourself.

"I find this content very motivating," Ashlei said. "Many, like me, have struggled with financial literacy and are now working to teach themselves to provide brighter futures for themselves and those they support."

Stacey recognizes the appeal of these apps, but as a financial educator, she urges caution with financial influencers. She recommends researching their advice before acting on it to make sure it's valid and right for your situation.

Taking Informed Action

The Fidelity Women's History Month study noted that women taking money action in the past six months felt less stress regarding money management compared with women who didn't take action.

The study highlighted that financial confidence-building actions women had either already taken, or planned to take included:

• Adjusting spending habits.
• Improving credit scores.
• Paying down debt.
• Saving more for retirement.
• Investing in something new or changing investment strategies.
• Working with a financial professional.
• More openness about money with a partner.
• Contributing to an emergency fund.

"Self-education has significantly improved my financial IQ, making me a good steward of my money," Paula said. In less than three years, she paid off her auto loan, opened a high-yield online savings account, consistently increased her savings and 401(k) contributions and started a Roth IRA.

Applying advice takes discernment, too. "There usually isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to these types of topics," Stacey said.

She now researches and then chooses what's best for her situation when considering financial options.

"For example, when I was working on paying off my credit card debt, most advice I saw was to focus on the debt with the highest interest rate first," Stacey said. "After trying that approach, I lost motivation because I wasn't seeing quick results. I switched my focus to paying off the debt with the lowest balance first and was able to stick with it."

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